Random Thoughts - Oct 13

A day of relaxing and fun

* I read on someone's page "smile when you are sad." I don't agree with it. Here is my version. Cry or pout (at your choice) when you are sad. Just do not forget to smile or laugh afterwards :-)

* Here is another one "ignore the pain." Well, pain is always unpleasant. However, God gave us the ability to feel pain for a reason. It is an alarm system for safety. Embrace the pain and let God do the molding and refining through it.

A Day with Highlights - Oct. 11

Thesis defense
The adventure with the short circuit

Encouragement and positive feedback

The honoring of my adviser and many who have helped.

Reaction to the CL's decision; confidence

Library encounters

Friendship & Stick Rice; the Wild Appetizer

* Pushing Daisies

With $5,000,000? (from PSYC 611) - Sept 12

The Activity: Broadening Our Vision and Dreams for Our Career

You have just completed your Ph.D. in counseling psychology. As a graduation gift, a long-lost relative gives you $5,000,000. You are entitled to keep all of the money. The only requirement is that you must work. You can do anything you want in your work. What would you want to be doing in your work? What type of setting(s) would you want to be in?

WORK - the intent to accomplish something of value

I am never too enthusiastic about activities such as this. First, I do not care too much about money. Money is important, as for everybody. However, relatively speaking, money does NOT have a huge bearing on my decision making. I am a relatively frugal person. I am rather good at living with limited financial resources and stretching them, good at (intuitively) budgeting and saving money, ... I enjoy a little luxury here and there, but am fond of a simple life in general. Thanks to my upbringing and my gifted and virtuous mother. :-) I will give up good pay for something I love with my heart in a heartbeat. That's right. It is all about the HEART.

Anyway, it is difficult for me to respond to such a question. Well, I still want to be a stay-home mom (and you do realize a good wife is implied here, right?). Something probably won't be very well received and edifying to others considering the setting. Something I won't feel safe to share, considering the lack of prospective candidate at the present time. May the LORD help him ^_*

Aside from it, I thought of building an orphanage and a school. It is all about children, the hope of tomorrow. Well, if I never get married, I will devote myself and my maternal love to all children God places in my path. Yet I still kind of think this will be a waste of some sort. I do think I have pretty good genes to pass on as well as good "softwares." :-) (My "shameless" self-evaluation.)

Then I realized that the one thing I REALLY want to do is to share my JESUS and His LOVE with others.

None of this is close to my more routine idea of working at a university setting. As I think of it, I realized that it is about making an impact. With limited resources, there are limited possibility of making an impact. Ample resources take away some restrictions and open more doors.

I don't think I will have $5,000,000 dropped at my doorsteps. However, I can surely implement my values in my WORK (the magic word) whenever the LORD leads me.

Spiritual Warfare Video - Sept 10

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=-2847559692516055729


There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them.

They themselves are equally pleased by both errors. - C. S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters

Things I Cannot Understand (by Os Hillman) - Sept. 4

Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. - Job 42:3b

If there was any one man on earth who had reason to question God's love, it was Job. He lost his family, his health, and his wealth-all at the same time. His friends came to his side only to question his spirituality. God had already answered the question of his integrity. Job was described in the opening verses of the book as "blameless and upright" (see Job 1:1). His calamities were not born from sin. Job acknowledged God's right to do anything in his life until one day he could take it no longer. He questioned God's motives.

God answered Job, but not in the way he wanted to hear. God answered him with a series of questions that represents the most incredible discourse of correction by God to any human being. Three chapters later, Job realized that he had questioned the motives of the Author of the universe, the Author of love. He fell flat before his Creator and realized his total depravity. "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."

Have you ever questioned God's activity in your life? Have you questioned His love for you based on circumstances that came your way? The cross at Calvary answers the love question. He sent His own Son in replacement for your sin. If you were the only person on earth, He would have done the same. His ways cannot always be understood or reconciled in our finite minds. That must be left for a future time when all will be understood. For now, entrust your life to Him completely. Embrace Him in the hard times and the good.

A few things - Sept. 7

* It is neat to be able to recommend Josh McDowell's book(s) to CLE, as she mentioned having questions about her faith and expressed her desires to seek answers. Dear LORD, would you continue to bring forth opportunities in my clinical work as well as everyday life to be an instrument for Your service and for the goodness of others. Help me live for Your glory!

* How nice it was to know that EVERYONE here knows the LORD! Finally I am a fish that has found my water :O)

* For the first time, my feet were called "pretty." (more literally than the "beautiful feet" in the biblical context :-) I realize how much I have grown when I did not even bother to explain how I disliked my hands and feet because ... Thanks to Michelle McKinney Hammond ^_*

Be An Irresistible Woman REGARDLESS! http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Irresistible-Woman-Smart-Capturing/dp/1565078438

Class Reflection (8/29) - Sept. 4

Contemporary Issues (I)

* Speech; non-verbal communication; hindrance; persevere;

* Group activities with discussion questions

* Experiential activities with images and verbal cues to facilitate self-reflection and self-expression
- Representation and understanding of multiculturalism: tree vs. forest; commonality & diversity within diversity;
- Leadership philosophy/style: "Be Among Them." Service-oriented, sacrificial giving for the greater good;
- Current personal professional development stage: open-eyed child to take it all in, swallow, absorb, process, integrate, and utilize.

Self Reflections from My Office Decor Shopping

Since I had never had an office to myself until a couple of weeks ago, I have no prior experience in office decor. Now I have a budget of $100. I thought it was more than enough, until I went to the counter and the bill came out as $104.10. Then I decided to give up the candle set, which took off $12.58. Now I spent $91.52. There is less than $10 left from the budget. And I still do not have a clock, a plant stand, and a smiley face. Everyone should know how important these items are. To make matters worse, I have told everyone that I don't think I would spend the total $100. Well, I will deal with my pride and vanity later. :-) Maybe I should learn to be smart and speak such things less in the future.

I am most happy and most confident with the pillows. I think they will work well for the couch and the chairs to blend in the colors. Four pillows: $5+5+5+3.75 = $18.75 = $19.69 after tax. (Now my hand went to reach the calculator on its own mind. What a hint for my regressed math ability. :-) I can easily laugh about myself. I suppose that's a sign for humility, right?

I have two bags of marbles, which I probably will return one. But I definitely want to keep the pinkish orange one. There is magic in them with all sorts of fantasies and imaginations. So that's $3.99 = $4.19 after tax. That makes $23.88 total.

The fragrant beads are expensive, $12.99 = $13.64 after tax for a little jar. However, I love the aroma. Even though my budget is not luxurious at all, I do desire to keep it as a "little" luxury. I have so many fond memories with various wonderful smells. It is important for me to welcome the guests with a pleasant aroma. I do pray that the aroma of Christ will grow stronger in my life. Now I have spent $37.52 total.

Finally the wall decors. That's the tough part. It is revealing as to the distinctly different parts in my personality. The diamond cut! Now I have three little ones, each with a distinctly different style: one of Vincent van Gogh's sunflower paintings - the wild, tough, bright side of me (maybe there is a sense of vanity since it is van Gogh, who knows); a gentle, soft painting of roses (I have no idea who the artist is) - the sentimental, genteel, feminine side of me; and a picture of a little dog looking up at a gigantic thing, it says "I may be small, but I dream big." - the childlike side in me. Well, maybe the first two can still potentially come together. The last one, definitely NOT. The only thing they have in common is that they all speak to me. Yet they don't go together. What does it say about me? I guess, after all, I am a mysterious creature, even though I aim to be transparent. I am a mystery to myself and I can not help it. I wonder who will be the one to discover such a mystery along side with me. "The lucky guy has not found me yet." - Me :-)

In addition, I have a mirror with cut pieces, which I may eventually give up also. I have a bigger poster-like painting of country scenery with road - the quiet, solitude me. I am not sure about this one, but maybe it can be put on the wall facing the window. All of a sudden, for the first time, I have an idea of how to place them all along the room. I should try it out.

$4.99 + 4.99 + 4.99 + 9.99 + 7.49 = $32.45 = $34.08, which makes a total of $71.60.

Now my Hercules Hooks ($14.99) would be easy to give up, except that the ad. sells it so well. According to the ad., it works wonders, which makes it harder to give up. Maybe I should just play by ear on this one.

I suppose because of my diamond cut, it is possible for me to relate to different people genuinely. I simply need to tap into the part of myself that is similar to them. Then my other parts enable me to bring other wisdom and strength to the situation. Hey, I should surely use this in my internship application. :-) Onward, and upward!

Self reflection: how to redeem the time - Aug. 31

I am not as efficient as I would like in getting things done: clinical documentations, thesis write-up, class readings ... The things I manage well are E-mails and errands. Well, I also did some good shopping trips ...

Maybe here lies the problem. Priorities! Priorities! I am not setting my priorities straight. Maybe it is NOT a good idea for me to leave my gmail window open all the time. I am really quick at E-mailing. However, it nevertheless takes away my time for other things.

I also need to adjust my attitude/expectation toward my internship. It is going to be busier and more intense than I originally expected. First, I started the real deal quicker than I expected. Maybe that's a good thing. Second, when it got started, it REALLY got started. 12/week actually is going to be quite a lot. So the chance is I won't have time to spare to read my class reading at my internship site and in my internship hours. If I am not careful enough, which means if I don't redeem the time, I may end up needing to put extra hours into it.

That's a good amount of reflection for now. A good place to recap with future plans:

1. Set up E-mail checking time. - Lunch time 12-1pm. Do brief replies then. Save the long E-mail until the end of the time.
2. Have a to-do list with priority rankings and time mapping.
3. Block half-an-hour chunks of time to devote on writing reports.

It is time to try these out and come to reevaluate. :-) My own behavioral modification project!

I am a work in progress! The LORD will bring to completion the good works He has started in me. ^_* Onward! Upward! Forward!

Press on!

Coming back statement

Apparently it has been quite a LONG while since my last entry. Much has happen since then. God has definitely been working in my life, drawing me closer to Himself. It has been WHOLESOMELY AWESOME!

I have been encouraged - urged to be more accurate - by J. and E. for quite a few times to journal my experience. I have to agree that there is wisdom in doing that. May the LORD's name be glorified in my testimonies! May these accounts encourage you (& me) as you (& I) read them! (I don't think many people will read my entries anyhow, since I am a VERY PRIVATE person. I have literally NEVER write out my life stories on a public domain before.)

I guess this is my statement for now. I do pray that the LORD will give me the endurance to write His story in my life faithfully. Amen!

Be Mindful

It is probably important and useful for me to be more mindful how I spend my time. How easy it is to squander the time, only to later regret how the time has been wasted, and to fuss about how much I have to get done.

Seeing someone else's blog about the journey to the doctoral education inspired me to create this blog to record my footprints on my journey.

Let's start with today.

It is my summer break. It is so hard to get myself motivated to get things done. Yes, I do deserve some restful time. Yes, I do have projects to be done.

1. START the data analysis of my thesis project and FINISH it.
2. Write up the clinical case study required. ~40hrs.
3. Prepare to teach in the summer.

Today: Let's finish the document needed for the IRB continuing review. You have 1hr20min until the dinner plan with friends. :-)

*** 5:58pm
It worked. There are only a few minor questions I am waiting answers for. :-) Off to dinner!