The Great Counselor - August 30

First day having CLs at the new setting

flexibility

first time, praying with a CL in session

professional growth.

confidence, competency, comfortableness, naturalness

feedback from supervisor - voice & demeanor change, how I carry myself personally & professionally

My "silly" hat (quoting E.R. :0) (My new favorite smile on screen)

I am called to be here and get trained to be a counseling psychologist.

So Here I am.

The Best Teacher & My 1st Labs - August 29

Rabbi

excited about the class

excited about teaching the class

praying on the phone w/ H.

sufficient grace for sustaining me through the 13hr day

***********************************************************************************
My 1st PSYC 214 Labs

Went well: 1^st group – 1hr; 2^nd group – 1hr 20min

Group difference: #1 – more conventional study tips; organization; Seem to recall more freely and come up with examples indicating understanding

#2 – more divergent thinking (study buddy, have a good relationship with lab instructor), no organization tips mentioned. Offering examples referring to the notes

My personal preference, how to balance it.

More time to prepare, use examples

Bring binder

To do: SPSS, clarify interval vs. ratio

Enthusiastic, engaging

Focus on what is important.

The Great Artist - August 28

This is from the evening. The previous one is from the morning of 8/28.

A beautiful moon - bright, round, gold, beyond my words

(I wish I knew about the total solar eclipse then. Then maybe I would have been CRAZY enough to wait for it. :0) Well, a case of ignorance as a bliss!

A stone from another mountain - 它山之石

http://www.mitbbs.com/article_t/TopArticle/25266559.html

Restored after the fall - August 28

John 1:9

God's characteristics - not man's, not holding grudges

forgiveness, being forgiven

repentance (turn around) & restoration

Love one another - August 26

Phone conversation w/ Y.

Joined spirit and force in prayers

Give a drink in His name - Aug. 23

Ice tea on a hot day to thirsty people

Good news of living water - never thirsty again

I wish I can speak Spanish or at least have some tracts in Spanish.

(Lost my traveling-from-China pitcher, whoever has it now should put it to good use.)

His Fingerprints - My 2nd CO trip (8/16-20)

Well, this is going to be long and I don't know how to make it shorter since it seems each of the smaller incidents all come together to form a bigger picture, which is the truly AWESOME part if you ask me. It shows how God orchestrates our lives and make something beautiful when we give Him the conductor stick. :-) He writes amazing stories when we give Him the pen of our lives.

I can't do this one in one sitting. But an outline might be helpful. I thought it would stay vivid in my mind forever. However, after knowing more of God's abundant grace and blessings, I am no longer that confident. It seems like a new wave of blessings will push the previous wave back to fade a little bit. I better write it down before it totally fades into the background. Then at least I have some to read and to remind me how WHOLESOMELY AWESOME it has been :-)

Here is the outline:

1. Called to help with training, presentation, prep (prayer - examine my heart/motives); God's blessing, provide strength, energy, and courage; encouragement from other;

2. Friday morning, (8/17) readings - John 4, the Samaritan woman at the well. What does God speak to you? "Will you give me a drink?" vs. "know the gift of God" and Jesus as who He is. Self-reflection, wrestling, examine my heart.

3. The change of my heart by Saturday (8/18) morning

4. Sleepless hours = sweet or heart-wrenching (depend on the time) quiet times with the LORD
My new prayer style

5. Consult with others:
K. - need to finish, have the right motives, examine motives - quitting for difficulty
T & J. - transition, enthusiasm; need; prayers
N. - testimony, seek His will by prayers and openness to be led

6. Sunday (8/20)
CM
- meeting with T., the story of holding back - three sets of drums
DEN
- standing-by, divine appt, Mr. S., encouragement, provision, sensitive, perspective taking;
- India lady; mom with children
ORD
- K. & God's provision, affirmation
- L. & prayer, His faithfulness
- Overbooking
- delay, meeting Mr. & Mrs. M., a glimpse of heaven on earth;
- D. & "How Great Thou Art."

7. 8/21 - get luggage back, lightning, Our GOD is an AWESOME GOD.

8. upgrade, sprint. - Call them!

OK. At least now I have the outline and I will just come back and fill in the blanks. :-)
(Almost feel like doing clinical documentation.)

Coming back statement

Apparently it has been quite a LONG while since my last entry. Much has happen since then. God has definitely been working in my life, drawing me closer to Himself. It has been WHOLESOMELY AWESOME!

I have been encouraged - urged to be more accurate - by J. and E. for quite a few times to journal my experience. I have to agree that there is wisdom in doing that. May the LORD's name be glorified in my testimonies! May these accounts encourage you (& me) as you (& I) read them! (I don't think many people will read my entries anyhow, since I am a VERY PRIVATE person. I have literally NEVER write out my life stories on a public domain before.)

I guess this is my statement for now. I do pray that the LORD will give me the endurance to write His story in my life faithfully. Amen!

Notes from INTUIT Meeting 5/22

To-Do List:
* Data quality check
* NEO data N, separate data set (E & C ~ job search; E, C, & Positive Affect ~ Social relationship; Weinberg)
* Descriptive Statistics, sample size
* Preliminary analysis: pre- vs. post-test

NIH Grant, career development, Minority students do not choose research-oriented careers, such as medical, social, and behavioral sciences. Theory-driven, intervention, empirical research.

Teaching Ideas

* 2 - 3:15pm for experiential activities

- Video clips
- Demonstration
- Role plays
- Technique presentation (5min + 10min questions & discussion)
- Discussion on readings in Their Finest Hour (Reaction Papers?)

* Thursday class - review structured as games (e.g., Jeopardy)
- 50% ind. score & 50% grp. score

Data Analysis Tasks

* Outliers (plot)
* Scale Analysis
* Correlation

* Descriptives, range
* Initial Analysis - bivariate correlation
* Scales & subscales - >=85%
* Scale reliability, alpha > 0.7
* Response set
* Psychometric quality

* Help files
* SPSS.COM

Clinical Reflections

As I revisited the words in Momma and the Meaning of Life, I realized that there were so many things I could have done differently with J. For example, I could have asked, "What feelings did you take home after the last session?" instead of asking (or "accusing/scolding") about his behavior of asking personal questions. Now I can honestly acknowledge how irritated I was at the time by him. Yet, I was "graveled" as he pointed out. It is unpleasant, uncomfortable, humbling, scary, ... to come to such a realization. Will I ever make a good therapist? Did I help or did I do more disservice, damage, and harm? Enactment with examination and correction. How I need wisdom, insight, self-understanding, ... courage to face the weakness and own it, at the same time, motivation to learn, sponge-like absorption, intentional organization, digestion, and internalization, confidence and strength to persevere!

It is also surprising that how my feelings and assumptions color and shape what I receive, for example, my strong reactions to J.'s intake report, H.'s treatment goal setting. It is shocking to realize how selective and biased my attention and reactions can be. In one case, there was an exaggerating and amplifying effect. For the other, I literally blocked some information off! Be aware. Keep your feelings in check. Think of cucumber to stay cool. :-)

I wonder if this has something to do with my avoidance to start my case study write-up. Fears - what if I did not meet the requirement. I surely have made some mistakes. I guess the question is, if I did pay attention to H.'s stated goal during the intake, how I would have done the therapy differently. To be honest, I am not sure. ...

I will come back to it.

Friday 6/8/2007

It has been two weeks since my last entry. Time surely flies. I have been doing a little better at getting myself motivated. At the same time, much more discipline is still needed.

Today is a milestone of some sort. Finally, I am finished with the data entry stage of the domestic student data. All the data (N = 267) has been enter. A random sample of 32 data sets was selected to check the data quality. Only 11 errors were found. The error rate is 0.19% (11/32*182), which means that the accuracy is 99.8%. I think that's PRETTY good!

C44 CFI74 3 --> 2; BAPC13 1 --> 2;
C59 BFF30 5 --> 4;
C97 VCU Stay 9 months (omission);
D10 BFF13 6 --> 5;
D15 BFF28 3 --> 5;
D19 BFF11 5 --> 4;
D44 BAPC11 21 --> 2;
D91 CFI16 3 --> 4;
D93 CFI28 3 --> 2; CFI29 2 --> 3

Now finally I am ready for the data analysis. Looking forward to it!

Feeling Words

Common Negative Feeling Words: http://eqi.org/cnfs.htm

More Feeling Words: http://eqi.org/fw.htm

Plans for Friday 5-25-2007

* Get up at 7am

* Plan for the day:

- 9am - 11am case study write-up

- 11am - 12am organize thesis references and send to C. (set up summer working hours)

- 1pm - 3pm international student data template set-up; recruiting E-mails; preliminary data analysis (range, scatterplot, syntax, reverse score, etc.)

- 3pm - 5pm INTUIT data compilation

- Friday cheers?

- Reading for FUN!

Be Mindful

It is probably important and useful for me to be more mindful how I spend my time. How easy it is to squander the time, only to later regret how the time has been wasted, and to fuss about how much I have to get done.

Seeing someone else's blog about the journey to the doctoral education inspired me to create this blog to record my footprints on my journey.

Let's start with today.

It is my summer break. It is so hard to get myself motivated to get things done. Yes, I do deserve some restful time. Yes, I do have projects to be done.

1. START the data analysis of my thesis project and FINISH it.
2. Write up the clinical case study required. ~40hrs.
3. Prepare to teach in the summer.

Today: Let's finish the document needed for the IRB continuing review. You have 1hr20min until the dinner plan with friends. :-)

*** 5:58pm
It worked. There are only a few minor questions I am waiting answers for. :-) Off to dinner!