Loving Homosexuals As Jesus Would (by Chad W. Thompson)

p. 74 Ten Phobias (Lenny Carluzzi)

1. Inherency: Christian people who struggle with a homosexual orientation fear that their condition is, as they've heard from the media, inborn.

2. Identity: Sometimes it is other Christians who doubt that anyone can really change; in doing so, they put the blood of Christ on trial.

3. Inadequacy: Men and women who have struggled with homosexual orientations often have a hard time relating to members of their gender.

4. Incompatibility: Homosexual strugglers often question their capability to function in a heterosexual manner.


5. Infatuation: Many heterosexual men simply fear that some "gay guy" is going to fall in love with them.

6. Influence: Many people are still under the impression that all homosexuals are pedophiles or that homosexuality is something you can "catch."

7. Infection: Many people unreasonably fear contracting the AIDS virus from individuals who have a homosexual past.

8. Inexperience: Some feel that "ignorance is bliss" when it comes to loving homosexual strugglers.

9. Ineligibility: Some people take the position that homosexual promiscuity is a "special sin" for which there is no redemption.

10. Ignorance


p. 112

* Research has found that when a child's needs for same-sex affirmation and identification are met, the child's need to identify with his or her same-sex counterparts will lessen.

* Dr. Joseph Nicolosi writes, "We do not sexualize what we identify with; when we identify with someone, we are no longer sexually attracted to them. It is always to the other-than-ourselves that we are drawn."

* A child's relationship with his or her same-sex parent is generally the child's primary means of identification with and affirmation from his or her gender.

* "In freeing himself from his bond with mother, the boy needs help in becoming fully male. He needs to know who he is, and only another man can tell him."

* When the relationship between a boy and his father, or a girl and her mother, suffers, the child may not identify with his or her same-sex parent. This can create an unconscious drive for gender identification that follows him or her into adolescence. This unconscious drive for gender identification become eroticized (turns sexual) as a child develops his or her sexual identity. By the time a child reaches adolescence, the child may experience sexual attractions to members of his or her own sex. In short, an emotional need becomes an erotic desire.

p. 115 Common Influences

* Rejection by one's same-gender parents or peers

* Sexual molestation

* Temperament

* An abnormally close relationship with one's opposite-sex parent

* Lack of identification with one's gender

* Genetics

p. 155 Prevention: A father can reduce the likelihood of his son'e developing homosexual attractions by:

* Being patient with him, reassuring him that mistakes are a natural part of life;

* Letting him know when he sees characteristics of himself in his son;

* Doing things with him regularly;

* Showing him affection freely through verbal affirmation and physical affirmation;

* Helping him identify his interests, whether it's a sport or an artistic talent;

* Encouraging him to develop healthy relationships with other boys his age during the preteen years;

* Recognizing areas in which he may be lacking social skills and teaching him to compensate;

* Modeling a healthy and affectionate relationship with him mother, which includes speaking favorably of her even when she is not around;

* Not shying away from getting undressed with or showering with him;

* Maintaining close male friendships so that his son can see him interacting with other men in healthy ways;

* Encouraging gender-conforming behavior while gently steering him aways from gender nonconforming behavior. (It's okay for a boy to play with Barbie for a little while, but he should be given a gentle "nudge" in the direction of the Ninja Turtles or G.I. Joe.)