Sexual Trauma, Termn., etc. - Sept. 10

* A potential script: "Do you want to tell me what happened? Some feel safe to talk about it and experience a sense of relief after talking; others are not ready to talk yet; and still some never want to talk about it. You need to decide it yourself and I respect your decision. If and when you reach a new place, you can let me know as well."

* "Can you tell me a little bit about it so that I can get a general idea?"

* "How does it affect your life right now?"

* Deal with the immediate here-and-now. "How is it like to come and talk with me?" (Some can talk right away; the others need to test me out.)

* Present options and alternatives. Let them choose and support their choice. Empower. Restore a sense of control, agency, and predictability (safety).

* Mini-experiences. "I decided and then it happened this way." Provide feedback to help gain the insight.

* Believe them, their experience, and how they see it.

* No control vs. feel control; no control ~ anxiety, helplessness; control ~ responsibility, self-blaming.

* When people feel out of control, people generally cope by one of two ways. (1) "should"s, self-blaming -> lowered anxiety, but increased depression; 2) anxiety, (encourage the CL to hang in there if appropriate). The CL's mistake vs. the other person's mistake; boundary; responsibility (self vs. other).

* "You know I can't tell you how to live your life." :0) Decision making; not ready; sit with the unsettledness;

* Check in. Everything is going well. "Did you get what you came here for? Is there something else you would like to work on right now?" "If somethings comes up in the future, you can always come back."

* NEVER work harder than the CL.

* Support. Reflect. Encourage. Point out past accomplishment.